This still makes me laugh. Originally posted on 8/25/06:
Dear readers, I have a confession to make. I've never felt right about buying intimacy products at sleazy sex shops. Not only do the values of such stores of salacity conflict with my spiritual beliefs, I've also had a hard time with the perverted workers in these shops, usually gorgeous asian girls or latina spitfires who are unmarried but more than willing to behave like they are. When I bought that double-headed dual vibrating probe at Le Sex Shoppe on Van Nuys Boulevard, I could almost read the mind of the nasty little salesgirl there, mentally picturing me using it on my committed life partner. It's gotten to the point where I've had to swear off purchasing new intimacy products altogether, and it's been tough considering how easily these items wear out after regular use. I prayed for a solution to my woes, an answer to my desires to mesh my love of God and my love of hot nasty extreme action involving intimacy products used on a caring and committed life partner. And finally, those prayers have been answered! Below is a link to the greatest store ever told, one that finally realizes that screaming multiple orgasms brought about by vibrating devices and an allegiance to the Word of the Lord are not mutually exclusive. I can't wait to buy intimacy products from these good folks; I just need to find a new wife.
ESPN Has an Identity Crisis: What Do They Want to Be? - Another self-inflicted wound. Sign up Like this article? Sign up for the The Big Lead email newsletter (...)
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